date someone who uses their turn signal

(via rememberthebliss)


one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me. 
and it is Akon.  So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon” 
he said you too and floated on.  

(Source: theofficialwalmart, via seanp0donnell)



It doesn’t cost a damn thing. 

Sprinkle that shit everywhere.

(via noolol)


I can’t handle nicki coming out and performing flawless with bey it’s like seeing a lioness and a tiger laying by a freshwater oasis and you know your ass should run because it’s dangerous they’ll maul you but you just can’t look away

(via mlnux)


riddle me this atheists: if god isn’t real then who is inside the kleenex box pushing up the next tissue

(Source: thisblogisnotgovernmentapproved, via telapathetic)


i hope iphone 6 is a flip phone

(via asvprock)